so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
