He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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