like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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