Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Say something about gay babies.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
