what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
