fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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