Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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