His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
