My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
