Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
