He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
