You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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