i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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