pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
