i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
