We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
