So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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