even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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