All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
