Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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