let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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