Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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