i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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