and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize