don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
bring money and cleavage
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
