It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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