I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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