Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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