I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
