I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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