You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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