Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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