You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
