can u get pink eye on your cock?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
