Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
