i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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