How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
