I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
