Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
