i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize