How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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