worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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