my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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