I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She bit a glass in half.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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