Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
