Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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