when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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