You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
