I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
