I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.