you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
