During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
