she smelled like a LAN party
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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