I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
