That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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