Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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