Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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