Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
