An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize