My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
