You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
